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Sunday, March 11, 2007

Living with a Labrador Puppy

I came across this great article in my normal Labrador web surfing and had to share. This is hilarious but oh so true! Take heed and heart! Thank goodness the Lab Brats are finally beyond steps 1-7!

Living with a Labrador Puppy
Written by Beren deMotier


Look into your puppy’s adorable eyes, and lower your standards of cleanliness, of landscaping, of punctuality, of how smelly you are willing to be.

STEP 2: Sign up for puppy classes as soon as you return home with the puppy; use your cell phone at the breeder’s if possible.

STEP 3: Remove all chewable objects from the floor: shoes, purses, pillows, recycling bins, computer hard drives and toddlers.

STEP 4: Gate off any areas the puppy shouldn’t go using metal gates (plastic gates won’t last a day or wooden ones an hour).

STEP 5: Don’t let that puppy out of your sight for a second! Use positive reinforcement for every good behavior (“Good Rover, good pooping outside!”), and not shaming. Labradors are the surfer dudes of the canine world, and will look at you blankly if you point out the error of their ways.

STEP 6: Practice on a leash as soon as you get a collar on that pup. Make him follow you, or you will be following him with your arm outstretched shouting, “Heel, Rover, heel!” for the next 12 years.

STEP 7: Learn home repair skills as your Labrador enters the teen years and teethes on doors, stairs and kitchen cupboards, as well as swallowing aluminum cans, entire collars (spitting out the metal parts), and any chew toy marketed as "lasts for hours."

STEP 8: Once mature at four, your Lab will become the dog of your dreams--provided you’ve trained him, gotten used to piles of poop and don’t mind finding dog hair in every square inch of your home, including in the refrigerator and its contents.

STEP 9: Enjoy his golden years of calmness as arthritis sets in, his ebullience wanes and you have the perfect dog.

Reference: How to Live with a Labrador by Beren deMotier

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